Essay 1
By Oliver Milman. Posted 23.09.2019
Assessed 1.12.2019
I have chosen an article called
“Greta Thunberg condemns world leaders in emotional speech at UN”
The first reason for my choice is
Greta Thunberg. She is really extraordinary child, who has a drive to talk
about the environment issue. I wondered how this little kid worried about
serious climate problems.
Nowadays
people can’t imagine
their lives without plastic, because we use it probably every day. It
makes our
life convenient but we have to think about consequences. In comparison
with enviroment in 50's, nature used to be in rather good conditions.
In the article Greta Thunberg
emphasizes that modern people think only about money, they don’t bother about
ecosystems at all. There is a climate crisis; it leads to disastrous heat waves,
flooding, droughts etc.
The author points out that the
activist has raised really important issue. As for me a brave young girl
represents all children who will grow up and live on our planet. One of the
most heartbreaking words was about empty words of senior officials. There were
about 60 speeches of representatives but the most valuable was Greta‘s. She
appeals to all countries so that each president should draw the conclusion. I
think a Swedish activist warns us about our future if we don’t take
measures.
The Guardian believes that the
problems we face on the climate crisis are systemic and that fundamental societal
change is needed.
Readers can read in the article
about reaction of world leaders’ on her speech.
Thanks to this article I learned
more about climate crisis. I thought it’s not so dangerous but I was wrong. I
really hope that after such powerful speech by little steps we will come to the
solution. Perhaps it will take more years than we expects but finally we change
our world for the best!
reason *OF: wr prep
ОтветитьУдалитьwith previous century’s nature used to be in rather good conditions: why a possessive form
*in modern people’s mind is only money: word-4-word translation
There is climate crisis: art missing
most valuable was Greta‘s one: "one" does not seem all right here
Perhaps it takes more years than we expected but finally we change our: why the Present Simple?
Make a note for me about your revision
ОтветитьУдалитьContent: 4 (Conclusion: can make it more memorable by using one of the techniques for conclusions. Have a look at the resource which lists some special techniques to finish your essay http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/conclude.html
УдалитьOrganisation: 4.5 (thesis statement not specific enough)
Mechanics: 4
Language: 4
Referencing: 4 (incomplete) check the post in the blog